xdeadmemories

I am not sure as to what I should write about this time. Not mush has happened but at the same time loads of things have been going on.

Still unemployed and looking for work but am still hopeful although my thoughts about the unemployment office have not grown better. The girl that I meet the first time managed to screw up just about everything and misinformed me, gave me the wrong papers or no papers when needed. So at my second visit I and the person I meet this time had to go over everything once again. Also I had to wait for over 2½ hours for my turn!!  I’m glad I don’t have to go back there anymore but can keep in contact via the phone from now on.

Thinking a lot about what I want to do and if there is something special that I would like to aim towards. There are a few things but for now it will stay in my mind.
Also the fact wetter I will stay in this town or if I will move and if so where. Everything is possible at this point and I am free to do what ever I wish. It feels good.

I wonder where that man is, the man that is far from perfect but at the same time perfect for me. I have had a few flings these past two years but what it done really is to have me question the kind of men that are out there. And what women seem to want from men these days. Scary!
I want a MAN not some metro sexual pansies. All this talk about gender equality has destroyed a lot. Men are men, women are women and there are things we can never be equal in nor should we. Call me old fashion or whatever but this is how I feel and what I believe in.

But now it’s time for bed I believe…

There are some people back home that I miss terribly then esp my cousin and Petra who just might be one of my oldest friends. She has been around forever!

Remember all the wonderful things we did when we were younger and esp all the summers spent together. Midnight walks and talks. Being up all night, talking, watching movies and so on. Miss that time in my life a lot!

Then we have my wonderful cousin that has re-entered my life again. I remember how I used to look up to her when I was a kid. She was so cool and gorgeous! The age difference was a bit big then but now as we are both older the age doesn’t matter.  It was last Christmas when we reconnected and realised that we are very much alike and we have been thru very similar things in our lives. As it is no I couldn’t imagine life without here and I miss her so much.
I know she is planning to come down for a visit and I hope to be able to go back home soon to. Want to spend some time with her and her wonderful kids.

And ofcourse I also what to spend some time with Petra. I am amazed with her, putting up with me and all my babble…

Now I’m going to try and enter dreamland but I think it’s going to be a fight to get in…

So once again it’s be ages since I updated. Bad me! But a lot has been going on and a lot has happened.

I decided it was time to stop and I have now put my company one ice. I no longer work at the salon and am officially unemployed. I know there will be some people that will gloat and go ahead have as much fun as you want. I am doing what feels right for me and I’m moving on in my life. It won’t be easy but I am feeling better and that’s what is important. I’m thinking about me for once.
Have to put my health and my own happiness first.

So am looking for jobs at the moment. Might end up moving during the process.  I’m looking for work in different places. I might adapt very well to my surroundings but have realised that I am not a big city girl I long for the peace and quite that the country side can offer.  I miss how people treat each other better out of the big city. I hate the shallowness that is everywhere in the big city.
And I hate what it does to me and how I react to it.
Only time will tell what will happen…

I will not fully give up on the nails, hair and c. tattoos. I have a few friend that I will still “work on”. But on a whole other level. Might even regain my enthusiasm and love for everything again. The same it was 10 years ago when I started.

I have a few friends supporting me in my choice and it is to them I turn when things get to hard. It’s amazing what you can learn about friends in the time of need. People that say they will do anything for you and always be there just simply disappears but then you find that others are standing strong and give you the support you so much need.

Easter was a calm holiday find I don’t really celebrate it that much since the family is so far away from each other. Although it would have been good to go down to Spain for easter and have some fun times with my parents. But that will have to wait a while…